Sat Nam,

I was watching a talk with Brené Brown one of my favourite speakers and authors and she was discussing something that I’ve recently realised, knowing who you are and not negotiating on it. She explains that if we walk through life looking for where we don’t belong or where we’re not enough we will always find it. She then shares that she knows who she is and she is not willing to negotiate with anyone on that to fit in with them because it is a betrayal to herself. Wow! Now that’s self worth! (Here’s the link: https://www.facebook.com/brenebrown/videos/1824087924272975/)

Throughout my life I have had people from family, partners, friends, colleagues and acquaintances try to change or fix me (whether it be how I behave, my opinions, how I feel, how I am), to suit themselves and because I didn’t know myself and I often felt I didn’t belong, I became a chameleon changing myself to suit my company so I fit in and here’s the kicker it resulted in me never quite fitting in or really knowing who I was.

Since practicing Kundalini Yoga, being on the mat gives me huge insight into who I am, what I’m willing to accept in myself and what I want to change. The key word here is ‘I’, because Kundalini Yoga is a practice of awareness first with ourselves.

So now when someone tries to negotiate a change in me to suit themselves,if it doesn’t sit right with me and who I am, it doesn’t happen. I no longer try to mound myself to suit others needs in order to belong, I now work on standing by myself and being faithful to who I am.

So next time someone suggests you change or fix your habit, your feelings, your thoughts or anything else because of how it affects them, first stop and look at how you feel.  If you’re ok with that habit, feeling, opinion etc don’t try to mound yourself to fit in with that person just own who are and be you. I’ve learnt apologising for who I am or changing myself to suit others may make them happy but leaves me unhappy because I’m not being true to myself. As the saying goes you can please some of the people some of the time but you can’t please all of the people all of the time so focus your energy on being true to you. Practice getting to know yourself (on your mat’s a great place to start), and the more you know who you are, the less you will be willing to negotiate yourself to please others.

I am teaching a workshop The Power of “I am” on Friday 6 April at 6.30pm focussing on getting to know ourselves. I invite you to come join me on an exploratory journey into who you are.  It’s one of the best relationships you’ll ever work on!

My classes this week at Soul Flow Yoga:

Tuesday 7.15pm – Adette
Thursday 9.30am – Adette

See you in the mat. ❤️

Big love,
Adette